q'pla !

[BigHairyKev]

Welcome fellow Klingon Warriors.

In here we can all drink and be merry - for tomorrow we may face each other in battle - but for now - keep the Bloodwine flowing

[geordilinka]

spot the klingon geordi



geordi getting interrorgated

[geordilinka]

I'm ready for my closeup

[BigHairyKev]

AWESOME !

What was the event?

[BigHairyKev]

Incidentally - I find it slightly disturbing that YOU in full Klingon make-up looks like ME without it

Judge for yourself...

[geordilinka]

i found my twin brother at last
welcome brother
we must share some blood wine once you come back from you journey

[BigHairyKev]

YES - it is essential - I'm visiting the bridge of the U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701-D which now resides in the Hollywood Entertainment Museum - I hope to return with photos

[geordilinka]

BigHairyKev said:

Incidentally - I find it slightly disturbing that YOU in full Klingon make-up looks like ME without it

Judge for yourself...

try this on for a shock.......
if you darkin my hair I look a lot like this Bro

I'm also 6ft and 18st.... scary
and i have dark hair at moment and have a leather jacket

[MALCOLM XERXES™]

FRI. JUNE 11/13:49 E.S.T.

Q’pla!

I think I saw you lads with the Chief Constable in the company of DOUG & DINSDALE PIRAHNA, didn’t I?

...This bloodwine is sweet...!

[geordilinka]

BigHairyKev said:

AWESOME !

What was the event?

I done a quiz show for tyne tees called spoof.........

[BigHairyKev]

AH ! You had mentioned the show to me before - but I didn't realise you were in it

I'd love to see it sometime ;D

[BigHairyKev]

MALCOLM said:

FRI. JUNE 11/13:49 E.S.T.

Q’pla!

I think I saw you lads with the Chief Constable in the company of DOUG & DINSDALE PIRAHNA, didn’t I?

...This bloodwine is sweet...!

I see we have a Python fan in our midst - possibly one of many

[BigHairyKev]

Ethel The Frog (The Piranha Brothers)
Episode 14 (first show of series 2). First transmitted on 15-Sept-70. Recorded 9-July-70.

Voiceover: (Eric) And now a choice of viewing on BBC Television., (cut to BBC world symbol) Just started on BBC2 the semi-final of Episode 3 of Kierkegaard's Journals, starring Richard Chamberlain, Peggy Mount and Billy Bremner; and on BBC1, Ethel The Frog.


Stiring music - 'This Week' type
Superimposed caption: 'Ethel The Frog'

Cut to Presenter at desk in usual grey suit and floral tie.

Presenter: (John) Good evening. On Ethel The Frog tonight we look at violence. The violence of British Gangland. Last Tuesday a reign of terror was ended when the notorious Piranha brothers, Doug and Dinsdale, (photo of same) after one of the most extraordinary trials in British legal history, were sentenced to 400 years imprisonment for crimes of violence. Tonight Ethel The Frog examines the rise to power of the Piranhas, the methods they used to subjugate rival gangs and their subsequent tracking down and capture by the brilliant Superintendent Harry 'Snapper' Organs of Q Division.


(photo of EastEnd grotty house)
Doug and Dinsdale Piranha were born, on probation, in this house in Kipling Road, Southwark, the eldest sons in a family of sixteen. Their father (photo (aged) of father) Arthur Piranha, a scrap metal dealer and TV quizmaster, was well known to the police, and a devout Catholic.

In January 1928 he had married Kitty Malone, (old wedding photo) an up-and-coming EastEnd boxer. Doug was born in February 1929 and Dinsdale two weeks later; and again a week after that.

Their next-door neighbour was Mrs April Simnel.


Exterior in street: Interviewer and Mrs Simnel. Line of gas men behind.
Mrs Simnel: (Michael) Kipling Road was asort of typical East End Street, people were in and out of each other's houses with each other's property all day. They were a cheery lot.

Interviewer: (Eric) Was it a terribly violent area?

Mrs Simnel: (laughs deprecatingly) Oh, ho ... yes. Cheerful and violent. I remember, Doug was very keen on boxing, until he learned to walk, then took up putting the boot in the groin. Oh he was very interested in that. His mother used to have such trouble getting him to come in for tea. He'd be out there putting his little boot in, you know, bless him. You know kids were very different then. They didn't have their heads stuffed with all this Cartesian dualism.


Cut to school playground.
Voice Over: (John) At the age of fifteen Doug and Dinsdale started attending the Ernest Pythagoras Primary School in Clerkenwell.


Pan to show Anthony Viney and Interviewer with stick mike.
Interviewer: (Terry J) Anthony Viney. You taught the Piranhas Brothers English. What do you remember most about them?


He fails to point stick mike at Viney (Graham) who answers. However, when the interviewer poses the next question he points stick mike to Viney as he does so. This continues, with the mike always pointing at the one who is not talking while Viney relates a fascinating tale complete with large riviting gestures.
Interviewer: ... Anthony Viney.


Cut to the Presenter.
Presenter: When the Piranhas left school they were called up but were found by an Army Board to be too mentally unstable even for National Service. Denied the opportunity to use their talents in the service of their country, they began to operate what they called 'The Operation'...

They would select a victim and then threaten to beat him up if he paid the so-called protection money. Four months later they started another operation which the called 'The Other Operation'. In this racket they selected another victim and threatened not to beat him up if he didn't pay them. One month later they hit upon 'The Other Other Operation'. In this the victim was threatened that if he didn't pay them, they would beat him up. This for the Piranha brothers was the turning point.


Cut to Superintendent Organs.

Subtitle: Harry 'Snapper' Organs
Organs: (Terry J) Doug and Dinsdale Piranha now formed a gang, which the called 'The Gang' and used terror to take over night clubs, billiard halls, gaming casinos and race tracks. When they tried to take over the MCC they were, for the only time in their lives, slit up a treat. As their empire spread however, we Q Division were keeping tabs on their every move by reading the colour supplements.

Presenter: One small-time operator who fell foul of Dinsdale Piranha was Vince Snetterton-Lewis.


Cut to Vince in a chair in a nasty flat.

Vince: (Graham) Well one day I was at home threatening the kids when I looks out through the hole in the wall and saw this tank driver and out gets one of Dinsdale's boys gets out and he comes up, all nice and friendly like and says Dinsdale wants to have a talk with me, so he chains me to the back of the tank and takes me for a scrape round to Dinsdale's. And Dinsdale's there in the conversation pit with Doug and Charles Paisley, the baby crusher, and a couple of film producers and a man they called 'Kierkegaard', who just sat there biting the heads of whippets and Dinsdale says 'I hear you've been a naughty boy Clement' and he splits me nostrils open and saws me leg off and pulls me liver out and I said my name's not Clement and then he loses his temper and nails my head to the floor.
Interviewer: (off screen) He nailed you head to the floor?

Vince: At first, yeah.


Cut to Presenter
Presenter: Another man who had his head nailed to the floor was Stig O' Tracy.


Cut to another younger more cheerful man on sofa.
Interviewer: Stig, I've been told Dinsdale Piranha nailed your head to the floor.

Stig: (Eric) No, no. Never, never. He was a smashing bloke. He used to give his mother flowers and that. He was like a brother to me.

Presenter: But the police have film of Dinsdale actually nailing your head to the floor.

Stig: (pause) Oh yeah, well - he did that, yeah.

Interviewer: Why?

Stig:Well he had to, didn't he? I mean, be fair, there was nothing else he could do. I mean, I had transgressed the unwritten law.

Interviewer: What had you done?

Stig: Er... well he never toldl me that, but he gave me his word that it was the case, and that's good enough for me with old Dinsy. I mean, he didn't *want* to nail my head to the floor. I had to insist. He wanted to let me off. There's nothing Dinsdale wouldn't do for you..

Interviewer: And you don't bear him any grudge?

Stig: A grudge! Old Dinsy? He was a real darling.

Interviewer: I understand he also nailed your wife's head to a coffee table. Isn't that right Mrs O' Tracy?


Camera pans to show woman with coffee table nailed to head
Mrs O' Tracy: (Graham) Oh no. No. No.

Stig: Yeah, well, he did do that. Yeah, yeah. He was a cruel man but fair.


Cut back to Vince.

Interviewer: Vince, after he nailed you head to the floor, did you ever see him again?
Vince: Yeah ... After that I used to go round to his flat every Sunday lunchtime to apologise, and we'd shake hands and then he'd nail my head to the floor.

Interviewer: Every Sunday.

Vince: Yeah, but he was very reasonable about it. I mean one Sunday when my parents were coming round for tea, I asked him if he'd mind very much not nailing my head to the floor that week and he agreed and just screwed my pelvis to a cake stand.


Cut to man affixed to a coffee table and a standard lamp.

Man: (Terry J.) He was the only friend I ever had.

Cut to a block of concrete with a man upside down buried in it.

Block: I wouldn't hear a word against him.

Cut to a gravestone, which says: 'RIP and good luck, Dinsdale'.

Voice: Lovely fella.

Cut to presenter.

[glow=red,2,300]CONTINUED IN NEXT POST...[/glow]

[BigHairyKev]

Voice: Lovely fella.

Cut to presenter.

Presenter: Clearly Dinsdale inspired tremendous loyalty and terror amongst his business associates, but what was he really like?

Cut to a bar.

Gloria: (John) I walked out with Dinsdale on many occasions and found him a most charming and erudite companion. He was wont to introduce one to many eminent persons, celebrated American singers, members of the aristocracy and other gang leaders.
Interviewer: (Eric) (off-screen) How had he met them?

Gloria: Through his work for charity. He took a warm interest in Boys' Clubs, Sailors' Homes, Choristers' Associations, Scouting Jamborees and of course the Household Cavalry.

Interviewer: Was there anything unusual about him?

Gloria: I should say not. Dinsdale was a perfectly normal person in every way. Except in as much he was convinced that he was being watched by a giant hedgehog whom he referred to as 'Spiny Norman'.

Interviewer: How big was Norman supposed to be?

Gloria: Normally he was wont to be about twelve feet from nose to tail, but when Dinsdale was very depressed Norman could be anything up to eight hundred yards long. When Norman was about, Dinsdale would go very quiet and his nose would swell up and his teeth would start moving about and he'd become very violent and claim that he'd laid Stanley Baldwin. Dinsdale was a gentleman, and what's more he knew how to treat a female impersonator.


Cut to dark-suited loony in armchair.
SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'A CRIMINOLOGIST'


Criminologist: (Graham) It's easy for us to judge Dinsdale Piranha too harshly. After all, he only did what most of us simply dream of doing... (tic...controls himself) I'm sorry. After all a murderer is only an extroverted suicide. Dinsdale was a loony, but he was a happy loony. Lucky bastard.

Cut to Presenter.

Presenter: Most of these strange tales concern Dinsdale, but what of Doug? One man who met him was Luigi Vercotti.

Cut to tatty office with desk and phone.
Vercotti at desk.


Vercotti: (Michael) Well, I had been running a successful escort agency - high class, no really, high class girls... we didn't have any of that . That was right out. And I decided. (phone rings on desk) Excuse me. (he answers it) Hello... no, not now... shtoom... shtoom... right... yes we'll have the watch ready for you at midnight... the watch... the Chinese watch... yes, right oh, bye bye... Mother. (he replaces receiver) Anyway, I decided then to open a high class night club for the gentry at Biggleswade with international cuisine, cooking, top-line acts, and not a cheap clip joint for picking up tarts, that was right out, I deny that completely, and one night Dinsdale walked with a couple of big lads, one of whom was carrying a tactical nuclear missile. They said I had bought one of their fruit machines and would I pay for it.
Interviewer: (Terry J) How much did they want?

Vercotti: Three quarters of a million pounds. Then they went out.

Interviewer: Why didn't you call for the police?

Vercotti: Well, I'd noticed that the lad with the thermonuclear device was the Chief Constable for the area. Anyway, a week later they came back, said that the cheque had bounced and that I had to see... Doug.

Interviewer: Doug?

Vercotti: Doug. (takes a drink) Well, I was terrified of him. Everyone was terrified of Doug. I've seen grown men pull their own heads off rather than see Doug. Even Dinsdale was frightened of Doug.

Interviewer: What did he do?

Vercotti: He used... sarcasm. He knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and... satire. He was vicious.


Cut to map.

Presenter (voice over): By a combination of violence and sarcasm, the Piranha brothers, by February 1966, controlled London and the Southeas. In February, though, Dinsdale made a big mistake.

Cut back to bar and Gloria

Gloria: Latterly Dinsdale had become increasingly worried about Spiny Norman. He had come to the conclusion that Norman slept in an aeroplane hangar at Luton Airport.

Cut to Presenter

Presenter: And so on Feb 22nd 1966, at Luton Airport... (stock film of H-bomb explosion) even the police began to sit up and take notice.

Cut to 'Snapper Organs'

Organs: The Piranhas realised they had gone too far and that the hunt was on. They went into hiding and I decided on a subtle approach, viz. some form of disguise, as the old helmet and boots were a bit of a giveaway. Luckily my years with Bristol Rep. stood me in good stead, as I assumed a bewildering variety of disguises. I tracked them to Cardiff, posing as the Reverend Smiler Egret. Hearing they'd gone back to London, I assumed the identity of a pork butcher, Brian Stoats (photo of Organs disguised as a butcher). On my arrival in London, I discovered they had returned to Cardiff. I followed as Gloucester from King Lear. (photo of Organs as Gloucester)

Acting on a hunch I spent several months in Buenos Aires as Blind Pew, returning through the Panama Canal as Ratty, in Toad of Toad Hall. (photo of Ratty) Back in Cardiff, I relived my triumph as Sancho Panza (photo) in Man of la Mancha, which the Bristol Evening Post described as 'a glittering performance of rare perception', although the Bath Chronicle was less than enthusiastic. In fact it gave me a right panning. I quote:


Cut to press cutting, which reads:

Voice over: (Eric) 'as for the performance of Superintendent Harry "Snapper" Organs: as Sancho Panza, the audience were bemused by his high-pitched Welsh accent and intimidated by his abusive ad-libs.'

Cut to letter-head of newspaper - The Western Daily News

Organs: (off-screen) The Western Daily News said...
Voice over: (John) 'Sancho Panza (Mr Organs) spoilt an otherwise impeccably choreographed rape scene by his unscheduled appearance and persistent cries of "What's all this then?"'


Cut to back-stage-type dressing-room, with make-up mirrors.

Policeman: (Graham) Never mind, Snapper, love, you can't win 'em all.
Organs: True, constable. Could I have my eye-liner, please?

2nd Policeman: Telegram for you, love.

Organs: Good-oh. Bet it's from Binky.

2nd Policeman: Those flowers are for Sgt. Lauderdale - from the gentleman waiting outside.

Organs: Oh good.


Knock, knock. Head comes round the door.

Head: Thirty seconds, Superintendent.
Organs: Oh blimey, I'm on. Is me hat straight, constable?

Policeman: Oh, it's fine.

Organs: Right, here we go, Hawkins.

Policeman: Oh, merde, Superintendent.

Organs: Good luck, then.


Cut to exterior of police station. They come down the stairs and walk off a long pavement. The city gent passes them, doing his silly walk. Cut to a little newspaper seller.

Newspaper seller: Read all about it. Piranha brothers escape.

Cut to a suburban street: it completely clears very fast. Freeze frame on empty street. An emormous hedgehog, higher than the houses, comes into shot, saying "Dinsdale?"
Roll credits, behind which we see the enormous hedgehog appearing in various well-known London locations.


Hedgehog: Dinsdale? Dinsdale? Dinsdale?

Cut to John in cage, as in opening shot.

John: Well, that's all for now. And so until next week... (roars)

Pan to next cage to show skeleton of "It's" Man.
Fadeout.

[BigHairyKev]

It's HAPPY HOUR for all you party-mad Klingons



Well - maybe not those 3

[BigHairyKev]

Slightly reminds me of Harry Knowles too - now HE'S about the coolest guy I know

[Susieg]

Although not a warrior myself I know a certain 'Hairy' one has been in the honour parade for Gowron himself.

Capt Susieg

[BigHairyKev]

Susieg said:

Although not a warrior myself I know a certain 'Hairy' one has been in the honour parade for Gowron himself.

Capt Susieg

AH YES ! I was indeed in full Klingon regalia as part of Gowron's Honor Guard ;D

At a convention - wearing t-shirt and jeans - a group of Klingon's ran up to me and said "You're tall, long hair, we're one Klingon sort. Interested?" - silly question really. I re-emerged from the Klingon Club's changing room in full Warrior attire - there were no latex headpieces left so 2 of the Klingon women applied 2 shades of lipstick to my forehead - very effective too !

We marched in from the back of the hall seating a huge crowd of fellow Trek fans and lined up to form a corridor - which ROBERT RILEY walked down towards the stage.

I was by far the tallest and broadest - he stopped to look me up and down - sneered a sneery smile and - in his best Gowron voice said "Excellent" and continued towards the stage.

Awesome